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When you focus on self-improvement and personal growth you innately begin to attract people who notice the positive strides you are making. This attraction compels them to request your time, presence, attention and maybe even your partnership in their business interests. If you are like me you often times feel obligated to help those that request your help or attention. Do you find it difficult to be assertive and say “no” to people’s requests? There is simply not enough time in each day to satisfy everyone. Being able to say no without being offensive and ruining the positive impression others have of you is an important skill to acquire.

Saying “no” doesn’t mean you have to be brash or offensive. There are plenty of polite, yet assertive, ways you can tell people “no” when you need to.

Here are 5  ways to say “no” without ruining the relationship:

1. “No” to now, but “yes” to later. “I’m very busy at the moment. Is there someone else that you value that might be available right now? If not, I’ll be available on ______ or ______ to help you out.”

I find this to be a great way to say “no.” It’s assertive, but also positive and kind. You let the person know there’s no way you can do what they’re asking at the moment. However, you give them the option to ask someone else of value or wait until you have the time to help out.

2. “No” unless something changes. “I’m very flattered and honored that you’ve asked ME. However, I’m not currently in a position where I can take on this responsibility. Could we revisit this after I have finished what’s on my plate? Or can we talk about this at another time if there’s a change in my circumstances?”

This statement says “no” while still being very polite. You let them know how thrilled you are that they’ve asked you, but then you’re honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.

3. A definitive “No.” “I’m sorry but there is no way I can do this. I’m afraid I’ll overextend myself.”

In this manner, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still let them know that there is not a snowballs chance in hell you can stretch yourself that thin. For the most part they’ll understand you don’t want to overextend yourself, which makes them sympathetic to the plight you’re in as well.

This answer is very kind and polite. Plus, it allows them to understand where you’re coming from.

4. “No” to attend an event. “I had a blast the last time we got together, but I won’t be able to make it this time due to a scheduling conflict.”

Sometimes we get invited o events that we don’t want to attend or just don’t have the time for. You shouldn’t feel obligated to go. This statement lets the person know you’ve had a great time in the past, but this time you have a previous obligation.

5. “No” to loaning money. (Otherwise known as “Hell No”) “I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family.”

Do we really need to go any further on this one?

Make it clear that this is the practice you have for everyone, and you’re not just saying “no” to him or her personally. If you feel compelled to go against this practice though, do everyone involved a favor and draw up a promissory note if you expect to be repaid. Otherwise, consider it a gift.

Remember that saying “no” doesn’t make you the bad guy. Use these 5 ways to say “no” without ruining the relationship to maintain your focus and intent.  Being focused and determined requires strict attention to your obligations. Too do the most good you must decide what to focus on and be able to stick to it.

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Self improvement tips are everywhere. This blog is dedicated to self improvement so here are a few things that help me out. Self improvement seems to occur in spurts. We gain a little, lose a little, surge ahead or slide into a holding pattern where in growth seems to be stagnated. Here are ten self improvement tips that will help you to get back on track.

1. Recognize that growth continues, despite our best efforts to thwart it.

There’s a saying: God’s time and mortals’ time differ. Nowhere is that more true than in the area of self improvement. Growth can be likened to fermentation; it often occurs well below the surface and appears dormant for long periods. Still, much is going on, if only we have the good sense to realize it. And, there ARE things we can do to break through the surface layers…

2. Engage in the process; give up attachment to the result.

We live in a results-oriented world. That’s both good and bad. In the short term, it enables us to get more done faster. In the long term, however, it conceals a great life truth: ultimately, ALL is process, and as we engage in the process and relinquish our obsession with results, the results occur spontaneously, easily. To be involved fully in the process is to be fully in the present. Embrace self improvement tips that encourage your presence.

3. Work on one thing at a time.

High achievers and type A’s pride themselves on their ability to keep several balls in the air at one time. For many, it works, but there is a price. Multi-tasking, as it’s come called, splits your focus, reduces the energy devoted to any single task and–when the balls mysteriously begin to get out of control–leaves the serious multi-tasker at a loss for words or acts. But to work on one thing at a time is tantamount to enjoying the beauty of a single rose, savoring the clean clear taste of cold spring water, and feeling the exhilaration of a new day. Single tasking gets the body and the mind going again, inspires and invigorates.

4. Stop thinking, writing and speaking in the first person.

Here’s one of the self improvement tips that is actually a fun exercise. It’s called, an I inventory and it goes like this. Review our correspondence file, the letters you’ve written, and note how often you begin a sentence with, I. Then, pay attention to your conversations with others. How often do you use that word, I? If you journal, take a yellow (better yet, red) marker and underline every single I. All of these are good measures of your preoccupation with yourself. Try taking a vacation from the word, I. You may find it both refreshing and stimulating.

5. Realize that it can take great effort to achieve a state of effortless achievement.

Sounds like double talk, doesn’t it! But it’s true. In order to achieve effortlessly, which is a measure of alignment, you must get beyond concepts that serve as comfort zones e.g., self-importance, personal attachment, and even enlightenment. With respect to enlightenment, it’s not so much a state to be achieved as one to be recognized.

6. Look for the lesson in pain.

This is not a plea for a life of self sacrifice, or an argument that pain is necessary and good. It’s just that sometimes, pain IS. Stopping, taking time to examine what’s really going on in the present state of pain, prevents this all too common emotion from developing into anger, resentment and resignation. This self improvement tip can be hard to grasp but looking at pain dispassionately, openly, allows you to learn the lesson and move ahead.

7. Let go of your need to have an opinion.

When things go wrong, friends offend, and our progress seems to be grinding to a halt, it’s natural to have an opinion, to explain, justify and defend. Natural, yes; understandable, yes; but productive? No! To give up the need to have an opinion in such instances is to free the mind to receive answers.

8. Walk away from it.

Years ago, I was going through a rough time, but was determined to stick with it until I won out. My mom sensed my frustration and asked if I would tell her about it. With some hesitation, I told her of the problem, the struggles, and the seeming lack of progress. She listened patiently and, after I finished, hesitated a moment, and then said something I’ll never forget: “You know, sometimes wisdom is knowing when to walk away from it.” So, when IS it time to walk away? From a distance of some years now, I would say it’s when the course you are “stubbornly” pursuing is not producing results and you have no real feeling that it will!

9. Follow your path rather than your plan.

The distinction relates to specificity. Paths are often winding, indistinct and surprising in where they lead. Plans are clear, definite, and designed to eliminate uncertainty. To follow a path is to be open to discovery, to the sudden turns that yield joy, insight and challenge. But, to really follow a path requires courage and a willingness to give up certainty. To follow a path is to go forward when you can see only a single step ahead, confident that the next step will appear.

10. HEAR what is being said.

Have you ever had a friend offer you self improvement tips or some unwelcome advice and preface it with, “You’re not going to want to hear this, but …” Well, often when new information comes to us that conflicts with what we know, believe, think, or want, we DON’T hear it. Even while we’re “listening”, we’re preparing our replies, defenses and rebuttals. In short, we’re blocking our chance to learn. To “hear”, as opposed to simply listening, is to withhold judgment, to go beyond the actual words, and to really be open to the possible lesson that may be lurking just beneath the surface. the difference between listening and hearing is that, somewhere in between, there’s a filter, and it’s usually our resistance to new self improvement tips and sometimes conflicting information.

These self improvement tips are some of my favorite. Do you have some you would like to share? If so leave a comment below.

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Our thoughts draw us to what we are thinking, and by constant repetition of positive affirmations, you can creative positive subconscious thoughts. Positive affirmations work only when they are translated into action. By conditioning your mind through positive affirmations, you are clearing out the negative thoughts, so that your dominant thoughts are of success. Why is it then that you feel that your affirmations are not working?

Seeing Results
There can be many reasons why your affirmations may be ineffective for you, and the first step in making them work is in understanding the relationship between your affirmations and your emotions.

Positive affirmations may take the form of “I am going to buy a big car”. You may not see the end result immediately, but the key is in persistence. There are a few reasons why your affirmations are not working, or that they are producing limited results. You must first believe in your affirmations before it can create an impact in your life.

How to Make them Work
1. Use Present Tense
Always make sure to phrase your positive affirmations in the present tense. Instead of the phrase “going to”, try using the phrase “have”. This makes your affirmation something that is happening now, rather than something that is waiting to happen in the future.

2. Avoid Negativity
It is important to avoid negative thoughts and words in phrasing your positive affirmations. This is easier said than done, as most people make this mistake. Instead of using the affirmation “I am no longer poor”, try substituting it with a more powerful one, such as “I am well off”. This is a use of more positive words that reinforce your preferred end result, and does not carry a hint of any unwanted scenarios which may confuse the subconscious.

3. KISS
Another point to take note of is to keep your affirmations short, sweet and specific. Get to the point, and make it specific, so that you do not confuse your subconscious with unnecessary words.

Lastly, the use of several techniques can help make your affirmations more effective. These include the use of constant repetition, engaging your emotions, persistence and belief.  Try implementing these elements when you create your positive affirmations, looking out for your phrasing and other tips that may make them less effective. With constant practice, you can soon achieve the goals that you set out to attain.

I definitely practice my positive affirmations daily and constantly follow sites like Subconscious Mind

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Every winner in any arena will tell you that initiative is necessary. Network marketing prospecting, fitness goals and personal growth all require similar action. To build your business, get in shape or simply capitalize on opportunity, give your attitude a jump start and take action with these tips.

1. Set goals. Purpose gives meaning to life, so figure out exactly what you are trying to accomplish and make definite plans to move in the right direction. Give your goals deadlines for a sense of urgency and to maintain your forward momentum. Take Stephen Covey’s advice: “Begin with the end in mind.”
2. Give YOURSELF a pep talk. As Earl Nightengale once said, “We become what we think about most of the time.” Develop a vision of the hugely successful person you want to be, and review it often. Always affirm the positive in yourself and others.
3. Network with winners. The attitudes and habits of those you associate with are bound to rub off on you, so choose your friends wisely. Choose a positive trait from each of your friends and try to enhance that trait in yourself.
4. Compete with yourself. Instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, work to improve on your own past performance. Your efforts to continuously achieve more than you have before will help you stay competitive with others, as well.
5. Learn every day. Every day holds new lessons for those willing to learn. Expect to make mistakes, but be sure to analyze them to find out where you went wrong and how to avoid repeating the error.

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Our greatest fear can be healthy or unhealthy. There is a huge difference in being safe or mindful of danger and being afraid of a challenge that will help us grow.

Those are my thoughts. What are yours??

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Always aim higher than you believe you can reach. So often you will discover that when your talents are set free by your imagination you can accomplish ANY goal.

Always believe that you will ultimately succeed at whatever you do and never forget the the value of persistence, discipline, and determination.

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Achieving goals can be a tricky task. I have set some very lofty goals for myself and I sometimes get down on myself. Whether you are a network marketer or just working on your personal development remember to concentrate on your progress when things are looking down.

I hope this video helps:

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Personal growth, getting fit and building a business all present some challenging times. However, everybody knows that their is no growth without a little discomfort. Stepping outside of our comfort zone is the only way we can move towards becoming the person we would like to be. We also need to make sure to surround ourselves with positive influences to maintain a productive mindset. The books we read and programming we subscribe to also have an effect on our progress. All of these things put together with determination and tenacity can eventually help us reach our goals.

I have a Jack Russell Terrier that I feature in many of my videos and posts. One of the things that I love about these dogs is their tenacity. When they accept a challenge, there is no stopping them. We all need to exemplify the same sort of tenacity and determination to reach our goals. Sometimes creativity and trade secrets can be instrumental in our success. Don’t forget to move or act quickly when a hazard presents itself. This one is just fun to watch, enjoy.

Interested in how I am growing my business using the internet and facebook? I would be more than happy to show you. Want information on the business opportunity I am using as inspiration for this blog? Leave your info by clicking this link.

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Focus on Your Goals: 3 Easy Tips for Staying on Track

If you’re an online entrepreneur chances are you might also be a personal development junkie as well. Personal development junkies are always reading the latest self-help books, listening to audio programs, attending seminars all with the goal of somehow ‘improving’ yourself.

So, you have set some lofty goals and you start out all pumped up about them. You may have listened to a motivational speaker or read a really good book that inspired and motivated you to change your life. But after a few days that post-seminar glow wears off and daily life starts to kick in and kick your butt distracting you from your goals.

Try these 3 tips to keep your goals anchored in your daily experience so that you are more likely to focus on them and make progress each day.

1. Backwards engineering

Take your goal and work backwards down to the task level. If your goal is to write and publish a book, make a list of all the steps required working backwards up until this moment. Break the steps down into daily tasks and if you can smaller tasks that can take just minutes when you don’t have large chunks of time to devote to the project.

Next you’ll set a deadline and add the steps and micro steps into your calendar. If you have a PDA or smart phone this takes us to the next tip where you will. . .

2. Use your cell phone to keep you focused on your goals

If you can sync the calendar on your computer with your phone, do so and create little alarm reminders to alert you that it’s time to focus on a particular task. Check it off as complete, or carry it forward to another day and re-set the reminder notification.

Post your master list of goals in the notes section and read them out loud each day as often as you get the chance. If you use affirmations, type a few of them in each day and add a reminder so that you will read them throughout the day.

Share your goals and affirmations with people you can trust to encourage you. If the people in your life have not supported your goals and projects in the past, keep them to yourself, but check out the next tip for a way to get encouragement for your ambitions. . .

3. Surround yourself with goal oriented people

Paradoxically, your loved ones may be the last people you want to share your dreams and desires with while they are still tender and new. Our family members want the best for us, but they may have met with disappointments in the past from having goals that they never accomplished, so they may discourage you from getting your hopes up or for striving for something better in your life. Sometimes when you are standing in your power and living your best life it creates an uncomfortable contrast for those around you who have made a comfortable home in their well-worn ruts.

Find a group of like-minded people to associate with who will encourage you to go for your goals. Join or start an online mastermind group, or better yet, find a local group that you can meet with in person. Commit to attending this group and being supportive of other people’s visions as they support and encourage you in yours.

Follow these tips and be mindful that even small, incremental steps will eventually add up to your achieving your goals.

If you enjoyed this article, then please visit author, Evelyn Bourne’s blog, http://www.productivepen.com, where you will find tips and resources on quality content creation, bootstrap marketing and personal development.

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Power of mind over matter is definitely a skill that requires dedication. Many of the books we read and seminars that we attend tell us that the ability to program our subconscious mind will unlock many of the doors that have been locked to us. Isn’t amazing that when faced with the same obstacles, people of like backgrounds have outcomes that are completely different? Does the power of mind dictate their results? Or, as we are accustomed to saying, “Is it all in our heads?”

It’s easy to define conscious effort but to define consciousness is more difficult. Our conscious effort dictates how we move through the world day to day, step by step. What we wear, eat, drive. Where we work, worship etc.. I think you get my point. To define consciousness we must really have a look at what plays in our subconscious mind.

If you are not sure what’s playing, it might help to tape your thoughts a lot like I did in this video:

http://90daystoanewme.com was developed to show that we all have the same type of challenges in our lives. By harnessing the power of mind over matter we can in essence reprogram our thinking and demand positive results. These positive results will have no choice but to become evident in our personal growth, fitness goals, network marketing business or whatever we are working on.

What challenges are you working through? How are you training your subconscious mind to bring all of your dreams to fruition?

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