When you focus on self-improvement and personal growth you innately begin to attract people who notice the positive strides you are making. This attraction compels them to request your time, presence, attention and maybe even your partnership in their business interests. If you are like me you often times feel obligated to help those that request your help or attention. Do you find it difficult to be assertive and say “no” to people’s requests? There is simply not enough time in each day to satisfy everyone. Being able to say no without being offensive and ruining the positive impression others have of you is an important skill to acquire.
Saying “no” doesn’t mean you have to be brash or offensive. There are plenty of polite, yet assertive, ways you can tell people “no” when you need to.
Here are 5 ways to say “no” without ruining the relationship:
1. “No” to now, but “yes” to later. “I’m very busy at the moment. Is there someone else that you value that might be available right now? If not, I’ll be available on ______ or ______ to help you out.”
I find this to be a great way to say “no.” It’s assertive, but also positive and kind. You let the person know there’s no way you can do what they’re asking at the moment. However, you give them the option to ask someone else of value or wait until you have the time to help out.
2. “No” unless something changes. “I’m very flattered and honored that you’ve asked ME. However, I’m not currently in a position where I can take on this responsibility. Could we revisit this after I have finished what’s on my plate? Or can we talk about this at another time if there’s a change in my circumstances?”
This statement says “no” while still being very polite. You let them know how thrilled you are that they’ve asked you, but then you’re honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.
3. A definitive “No.” “I’m sorry but there is no way I can do this. I’m afraid I’ll overextend myself.”
In this manner, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still let them know that there is not a snowballs chance in hell you can stretch yourself that thin. For the most part they’ll understand you don’t want to overextend yourself, which makes them sympathetic to the plight you’re in as well.
This answer is very kind and polite. Plus, it allows them to understand where you’re coming from.
4. “No” to attend an event. “I had a blast the last time we got together, but I won’t be able to make it this time due to a scheduling conflict.”
Sometimes we get invited o events that we don’t want to attend or just don’t have the time for. You shouldn’t feel obligated to go. This statement lets the person know you’ve had a great time in the past, but this time you have a previous obligation.
5. “No” to loaning money. (Otherwise known as “Hell No”) “I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family.”
Do we really need to go any further on this one?
Make it clear that this is the practice you have for everyone, and you’re not just saying “no” to him or her personally. If you feel compelled to go against this practice though, do everyone involved a favor and draw up a promissory note if you expect to be repaid. Otherwise, consider it a gift.
Remember that saying “no” doesn’t make you the bad guy. Use these 5 ways to say “no” without ruining the relationship to maintain your focus and intent. Being focused and determined requires strict attention to your obligations. Too do the most good you must decide what to focus on and be able to stick to it.
Share on Facebook
